Do we fail to recognize or appreciate the unique individuality of our children? An insane way of self absorption, wherein we are oblivious to their identify and blossom into what they dream to be. And yet expect then to succeed in their lives, well as per our expectations, our unfulfilled and dreams, fantasies; that were clipped in the bud in our childhood.
To love our children is to know the pain of separateness. But we don’t dare to endure the pain. Not because we as parents cannot bear it now, but we rarely were conditioned to bear it in our young days. Separateness is physical as well as in thoughts. Sameness brings forth comfort, mitigates fear of isolation.
And while we are relentless in taming our children to adopt our traits, likes, aspirations, fears, they may or may adopt our thoughts and ways; sure enough they will learn how to make replicas of their own self.
(Excerpt : The road less traveled)
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of the Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You my strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward not tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrow may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archers’s hand be for gladness;